Friday, July 18, 2008

Applesauce!!!! In moment form.

I was thinking the other day, back to some of the things my ever-changing group of friends have taught me. And there, under a few inches of dust, sat one of the most true, but under-noticed concepts I have ever known: The Applesauce Moment.

What is the "Applesauce Moment" you ask? Why, it's simple dear friend. Allow me to demonstrate.

(P.S.: This is just a random example I threw together. This particular situation never happened to me..... but it's a damned good example....)

Let's say you and a few friends are gathered around, discussing a wide array of topics. Suddenly, one of your friends begins ranting about policies that Alan Greenspan put in place during his tenure, and your mind begins to drift. It's not that you want to disrespect your friend, but, come on, Greenspan?? And thus, the rabbit trail in your mind begins:

"Geez, Alan Greenspan. How boring....."
"Heh heh, Greenspan. What kind of name is that. I've never seen a 'Green Span' in my life..."
"That reminds me, isn't that movie The Green Mile on tonight.. I liked that movie."
"What's that one actor's name... Michael Clarke Duncan.. yeah, him. He's a big guy."
"He was in Armageddon too, wasn't he?"
"I kinda liked Deep Impact better, but Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck got the bigger box office draw. So very sad....."
"Affleck. Heh, not a big fan. And he's got a funny name too..."
"Affleck... AFLAC!.... that duck is hilarious."
"I love that one commercial where the duck was driving NASCAR, and all the feathers were pouring out of the car... funny stuff."
"Why do they call feathers 'down' anyways? Who came up with that idea."
"I like down pillows a lot.... and down comforters..."
"Damn cat peed on my comforter last night! That smell never comes out..Grrr..."

And here, in the middle of the conversation going on around you, from your mouth pops "I need to go buy a new damned comforter!"

Your friends, unaware of your current train of thought, look at you with questioning eyes, and ask: "What the hell does your comforter have to do with Alan Greenspan?"

For a moment, your wonder how they couldn't know. Then you realize that you took that winding mental journey alone. In an attempt to not look clinically insane, you try desperately to walk them through... Green Mile, AFLAC.... all the way through the chain that made perfect sense to you....

.... and then you get the look. That look of "OK.... I guess it did follow some train of thought... but seriously... WTF????"

Hence, the Applesauce Moment. (It was thus named because the original explanation I was given began with discussion about a recent vacation between my friend Chris B. and some of his other friends, and ended with one of the girls blurting out "I like applesauce!" Her train of thought was no less twisted, but it made sense. Since then, the name has stuck.)

We all have had our own version of the Applesauce Moment, or at the very least, been present for one. That song on the radio that reminds you to buy cat food, the news story on global warming that reminds you of your third grade gym teacher, you know, the one with the huge mole.

It happens all the time, and when one hits us, we can't help but laugh out loud at the crazy, twisted, but completely logical road that connected these two unrelated items. We sit in awe of how complex our minds can get, especially over the simplest of events.

And for a moment, the world seems fun again.....

.....Damn, I really want an Egg McMuffin......

- Kenny G.

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