Thursday, August 21, 2008

I WORK FOR A RETARDED GOLDFISH!!!!

How the fuck do you forget that you are interviewing people, less than an hour after your interview schedule.... written down for you.... was handed to you, and GONE OVER PERSON BY PERSON!!!!

The man has to have "some-timers"... as in, sometimes, I'm suprised he doesn't forget to fucking breathe. What good is having someone schedule shit, if you just make your own plans all the time???

Dear sweet Titty-Fucking-Christ..... he even said in an email, an hour before I handed it to him...
"Thanks,
Please make a calendar of my appt's for next week."

There isn't beer strong enough for this.....

Or this......

Busted by a porno virus..... Fuck it, I DO love this job...
- Kenny G.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

It's the small things in life... (Insert random joke about my penis here before posting)

How pathetic is it that, of all the things there are in life, my only joyful thoughts are that my latest entry in the "Funny or Die" caption contest might be a winner.....

Shouldn't there be larger dreams, goals, and hopes for me to aspire to??? Isn't life more than pining for 15 minutes of Internet fame?? Am I so devoid of true aspirations??

*Sob*... why don't you bring me flowers anymore!?!?!

..... Whoa.... too much LSD in the coffee this morning...

I'm back... But seriously....


"Contents of box: (1)cirrhotic liver; (1)extremely small penis; (1)lack of self respect; trace elements of bong resin (to preserve "freshness")".... that's funny, dammit!!
- Kenny G.