Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Shards Of Never

"A sorrowed soul, wrapped in a silly smile.

A knight's heart, trapped in a recreant's shell.

Boundless love, saddled with searing despise.

Stalwart steadfastness, lost in a torrent of fear and uncertainty.

That is I, a whirling cyclone of mismatched failings,
A great man on paper, a raging failure in the flesh.

I am so worthy, and yet, so insignificant.
The great contradiction, forever consistent in his inconsistency.

I am the friend who will sit beside you, without response, as vicious and meaningless barbs alike, tear into my soul, breaking me down, yet will bow in regret and atonement when but one jesting word from my mouth has offended, all the while, ready at a moments notice to stand at your shoulder against those who'd threaten you.

I carry love for those I know, those I hold dear, love so strong, my simple ways can never express properly. There is nothing, if it is within my means, that I would not give for Mine, but I pull away in shame when a hand reaches to lift me from my trench, because I refuse to believe I could ever be worthy of such care.

A mind, sharp, witty, focused, buried within a husk of desolation and self-pity. My mind, heart, soul, are filled with dreams, goals, hopes. And yet, in a instant, my mind, my heart, shatter those moments of glory into shards of never will be, and drag everything into the shadows, to see only loathing and tears.

I believe always in those I call Mine, the truest and deepest parts of them that not even they themselves can see, their true strength, their true worth, and will fight with my last breath to help them see, see that which I refuse to know of myself.

I am the truest of contradictions, the most pious of hypocrites.

I am the most outspoken showman, and yet, you will rarely hear me even speak.

I will hold you upon a pillar, as I cast myself into the mud.

I angrily chastise you for looking down on yourself, as I carve those same words into my own spirit.

The absurd, bound to the tragic, joined with the wonderful.

The greatest of mankind, and vilest example of a person.

That, is I."

... And I'm Kenny. :-)

- Kenny G.