Monday, July 14, 2008

"What dreams mean"... or..... "Why I shouldn't eat spicy stir-fry right before bed"...

Ok, I need to ask: Am I the only freak that has this problem?

(I know Steve O. already said "Yes" very loudly at the monitor.... Shut up Steve.)

It seems, every single dream I have, weird shit goes on all around me. Almost none of it makes sense, and I know, in the dream, that it doesn't make sense, but it still seems normal to me in the dream.

First: Often in my dreams, there are plenty of cameos. Friends, family, assholes I know from the bar, anyone is fair game to make an appearance in one of my dreams. That's not the problem. The problem, it's that these people I know, know well, know exactly how they look/act/sound, look/act/sound completely different in my dream. They have a completely new face, hair/eye color, they get taller or shorter. End result, they look nothing like what they look like in the waking world. Yet, somehow in my dream, I know this strange figure as a real person I know very well.

(I know. I AM a freak.... Don't worry, the rabbit hole gets deeper.)

Second: The same thing happens with places I know very well; my old High School, my Step-dad's bar, so on and so forth. I mean, I've hung out at that bar for 8 years. I've bar tended there, managed the place, and hung out more than should be humanly possible. I know every last inch of that place, including the damned roof. Yet, in dreams, it's all misshapen. The bar is many feet longer, furniture that has never been there is in the dream, rooms that don't exist stretch on for yards. Yet, in my dream, it's the bar to me, and it doesn't feel strange.

(This wouldn't bug me if it had only happened once or twice. But this acid trip is a constant thing.)

Third: This one scares the ever-loving shit out of me, because it must be some sort of deep-rooted psychosis or something. I often have dreams that I'm in some sort of fire-fight. I'm the good guy, the bad guys are chasing me, and, as I'm holding position in some little nook, loading my gun, I'm getting ready for my last stand. The gun's loaded (I know it is, I just checked.), I run out, the shooting begins, and the gun doesn't fire. Even at point blank, I pull the trigger, it goes bang, but nothing comes out. I end up getting shot, dying, and moving on to the next dream. WTF!!!! I'm the GOOD GUY!!! I'm supposed to WIN!!!!!

Ok.... I think that's deep enough into the labyrinth for now.... I'll discuss more at another time.... I really should be getting back to work now.....

....... wait....... what's this hallway over here???..... it wasn't there befo.... AHHH!!!!

I know... cheesy.... but I needed a closing wisecrack... and the coffee hasn't done it's job yet!!!

- Kenny G.

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