Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Essay - The philosophy of a Hockey Debate

So tonight, I was sitting at work, trying to not think about the Detroit Red Wings game that I was missing. Oh, the fun aspects of being a second shift security guard. So much great TV available, and you don’t get to watch much of jack shit, besides CNmotherfuckingN. I finally did get a chance to watch a few minutes of the game, and by a few I mean the end of the second period. That's it. I was rather pissed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the type of psycho fan who paints my face on game day, nor have I gotten the “Winged Wheel” inked onto my flesh as some totem to my favorite team. I just grew up in, and spent the first twenty seven years of my life within spitting distance of Detroit proper. Hockey was the preferred sport of my mother, so I came to join the fold as I matured. If you question why, I have three answers: The Lions, The Pistons, and The Tigers. Still blame me?

So yes, I do leave home each day with my Wings pendant dangling from my neck. And yes, I get a little giddy during the playoffs, when I can actually watch a game or twelve. I now live in South Carolina, where you have as much a chance of finding a hockey game on TV as you have finding a cat turd made of 24K gold in the back alley of your local bar. It sucks. But I digress.

Anyways, rather than sit and despair at my lack of ability to watch the game, I decided to check Twitter, and see if anything else was going on. And that is when I saw a tweet from Mr. Paul Elard Cooley. It seems the Fiend Master felt the need to rant angrily about one of the Wing’s players. This did not make me happy. With my hackles raised, I was set to send a snarky response.

That’s when I stopped, and thought.

The Fiend Master has always been a reasonable man in the past so maybe he might have a point. I decided to look into this further.

I asked him what I missed, and he explained how exciting and close the game was. Not getting the information I wanted, I simply stated that I was a wings fan, hoping he’d catch the subtle nuances. He responded by explaining why he wasn't a fan of that particular player, and sent a web link to help explain it further.

I read the link. Okay tried to read the link (The three inch screen on my phone, plus being at work, makes me functionally illiterate. Sue me.) After hashing out the details I’d missed, I realized one thing: he was right. This guy was a massive dickbag. I hadn’t known that before. After reading it, I realized this fucking thug of a hockey player didn’t deserve the honor and respect I bestow upon those who bear the “Winged Wheel.” My respect for Mr. Cooley grew a bit.

Then, the Fiend Master had to mention that he was a Colorado fan. Not exactly something a Wings fan likes to hear. Snarkily, I referenced an incident between Colorado and the Wings from many years ago. I fully expected to get verbally bitch slapped, and told to shove my whiney ass complaints into the least pleasant orifice I had available.

And do you know what the Fiend Master told me? He agreed. That particular Colorado player was a worthless thug, and Mr. Cooley had no qualms about stating this fact. He almost sounded gleeful to rip on one of his favorite team’s alumni, in the way a man who wrote such a disturbing story about Sesame Street can sound “gleeful.”

I froze, staring at my phone in disbelief. Did I really just have a sports debate that didn't end with somebody being called an ignorant, inbred fuck stick?

I'm not a huge sports fan, other than for the Wings, and as many NASCAR races as I can muster in a season. But I have been in a sports debate or two. They usually start out nice and quiet, but always end with more vulgarity than your average 4chan thread, assuming they don't turn into a beer bottle slinging blood fest.

It actually stunned me. I couldn’t believe I’d just had a calm, rational, productive debate about hockey, with someone diametrically opposed to my choice of team. I didn’t think serious fans could be sane, let alone open minded and reasonable. Seriously, if there is such a thing as a Yankees fan who can face criticism, and remain mentally stable, I would fucking love to meet them.

It took a second, but it finally slapped me in the face: THIS is how we are supposed to speak to each other. As an evolved... or supposedly evolved… species. With actual dialogue and inquiry. Not flinging metaphorical shit at one another.

I started wondering what the internet would be like if EVERY debate followed these rules. What would happen to our forums? Our trolls? I read a news story about a timber baron from the 1920’s who left most of his fortune to his great-grandkids… as in… NO ONE got much money until 21 years after the last grandkid died. A stupid story, yes, and one that has no bearing on my life. And yet, the comments section below had so many people (all of which seemed to be just as detached as I) yelling angry epithets of all kinds back and forth, just because someone disagreed with their position.

I’m not expecting this concept to spread out past the ephemeral borders of the Internet, not by a long shot. But wouldn’t it be a hoot if Congress adopted this philosophy, and started having meetings toned with civility, open mindedness, and humility? But who am I kidding? Getting politicians to act with even the slightest hint of humanity would be like getting an African Lion to adopt a strict Vegan diet.

And, I’d probably shit myself if all of the religious leaders of the world got together, told the brainless halfwits that have been serving as their mouthpieces to fuck off and die, and got to task on actually helping the poor and downtrodden in society… You know… Like what those books they keep preaching from actually fucking say! …( I better get my ass back on track, as religion is a whole other rant in itself.)

I guess, I’d just be happy to see the day where a parody Twitter account of the computer over-mind from Terminator can tweet a snarky rebuttal to some Tween Disney Pop-Tart about her “depression” and not get spammed by her mindless drone followers who can’t take a joke.

All I know is that life only asks two things of us: A: Believe whatever you choose to believe as strongly as you can. B: Remember the old cliché “Opinions are like assholes – Everyone has them, and they usually stink. Including mine. And yours. Just because you think it’s the right way, does not mean it is. So don’t fuck with anybody just because they disagree with you.

As for me, I’m going to make my plans to watch the next Wings playoff game, and chalk up another beer I owe to Mr. Cooley. Two, if the Wings kick Colorado’s ass next season.

- Kenny G.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Muah ha ha ha ha... It LIVES!!!

Guess who's back baby... This old dusty blog has new life, thanks to an app for my phone...

Yeah... I'm scared too.

Till a new idea blossoms...

- Kenny G.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

What the F*ck is San Jose Thinking???

Ok... I know... Been a while.... I've had shit going on.... But, NHL fans.... Read this: LINK

... Let it sink in for a sec..... Ready... OK.

WTF? Yes. We all know I am a Red Wings fan... But even my Red and White colored glasses can see this is a stupid and shitty move.

For the record, Nabokov saved my ass a lot..... In fantasy Hockey... See, I got roped in to playing for the 2007-2008 fantasy season... And I ran the 1st half... Thank in large part to Evgeni Nabokov... So I KNOW he is a damn good goal tender....

I'm not so jaded a fan that I need to hate because he's been wearing Teal for 10 years... I'd stain several pairs of pants if Detroit picked him up in this off season... Might off set the pain Yzerman caused by going to FL.....

Long story short.... I'm praying to Odin Nabokov is wearing a winged wheel next year... But I have always been a dreamer....

- Kenny G.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Tarnished Knight - Redemption

Dragons... Demons... Minions of all Darkness... It did not matter, not to the Knight's blade. Regardless of the foe... They fell... As the Knight knew they must.

New strength had filled him... Strength from his Muse... And he had been renewed.

His body still ached... His armor still creaked... But He had the strength to press onward...
As His favorite quote told Him: "Courage is not a lack of fear, but the will power to still move, despite fear."... And so, the Knight moved... No matter the pain...

It did not matter what demons came his way... For His Muse, All of Hell itself would be cut down, with just Her most gentle word. To Him, She was all he could hope for... All He desired... And for Her, He would face any fate...

She calmed the emptiness in His soul... The darkness He ran from became so much lighter... The Joy the Angel had helped Him to see... The Muse made real... Made His... Making His pledge to his Muse truer each day...

Then, the day came... As He stood before His Muse... And She spoke to Him:

"You have pledged yourself to me... To be my Knight?"

"Yes, my Muse."

"... Then I pledge myself to you... To be your Muse."

Had She truly said those words? Was He lost in some forsaken dream?... No... It was real... She had found what was truly missing in His soul... And chosen to fill that need.

For the first time in ages... Longer than He could ever remember... The Knight wept... True, unashamed tears.

The Angel had spoken this way... As had others... But here, now... The Knight knew them to be true... And His soul swelled like it never had before.

For the first time in His life... The Knight felt truly at home... Truly with purpose.

Had the Fates drawn this Muse to His side, at His weakest moment, to restore Him? Had luck brought Him a gift far greater than one such as He could ever deserve? Was Mercy itself releasing Him from the burdens He had brought forth?

The reason did matter... The Muse had chosen Him... Given Him Her blessings... That is all that mattered...

If He could claim the blessings of one such as Her... Then nothing could stand in His way... He would bring glory to His Muse with all his might... It was His duty... His command... His only waking desire... He would find the way to bless His Muse... As Her love blessed Him...

... Forever More...

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Tarnished Knight: Reformations

Had it been days, years, millenia? He could not remember... Only the darkness had filled His mind since that day... When The Angel left His side.

The Knight had wandered, blindly, hopelessly... Far from what had once been Home.... To a new land, and new journey... The past far behind Him.

His heart was empty.... Soul as dark as the black stains on His cracking armor. His burden was heavy, more than He had ever know... He was lost... And falling.

Lifting His head to the horizon, He looked out at this place... The one He would now call Home... Where His life would now be bound... A small smile breaking through His stern grimmace.

The Knight knew what this place would yield: New adventures, new allies... But could it fill the hole deep inside?

Days passed, and His strength began to return to Him. A new cause called Him to action... New dragons to test His blade against. He found some sollace with His new comrades... And learned to love His new Home...

... But nothing could ever replace the loss of his Angel...

... Until one day...

He heard the call... One He had not known for a long time... The beautiful call... Of The Muse. Her words lifting His spirit, washing over His tired soul, healing wounds long since forgotten. The Muse, was unlike anything, or anyone, He had ever known... And He could only sit, and bathe in Her wonder.

She did not see it at first... This great transformation inside Him... But He knew it was there... And all flowing from Her grace... Her words... Her very being.

As if the Heavens themselves had granted Him a new life... The Knight was made new... And His heart was renewed. He watched in awe as Her very essence mended His armor... And He knew He had found what had been lost for so long...

Raising His sword to the sky, one tear rolling down His face, The Knight pledged His strength, His will.... His very soul... To His Muse... Letting the last Feather float off into the wind. As He found a Home in this new land... His heart found a Home with Her... His Muse.

... And The Knight knew peace once more.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Holy Carp Y'all!!!

I know... Long time before posts... Long story coming soon....

But I had to share this... I WON A BET!!!!

Long story short... Last season, it was his San Jose Sharks VS. My Detroit Red Wings; who will go further in the season...

I won.

Payout: Embarassing Karaoke, on Video.

My Prize:

Nuf said... Click FUNNY!!! Give the man props.

- Kenny G.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Shards Of Never

"A sorrowed soul, wrapped in a silly smile.

A knight's heart, trapped in a recreant's shell.

Boundless love, saddled with searing despise.

Stalwart steadfastness, lost in a torrent of fear and uncertainty.

That is I, a whirling cyclone of mismatched failings,
A great man on paper, a raging failure in the flesh.

I am so worthy, and yet, so insignificant.
The great contradiction, forever consistent in his inconsistency.

I am the friend who will sit beside you, without response, as vicious and meaningless barbs alike, tear into my soul, breaking me down, yet will bow in regret and atonement when but one jesting word from my mouth has offended, all the while, ready at a moments notice to stand at your shoulder against those who'd threaten you.

I carry love for those I know, those I hold dear, love so strong, my simple ways can never express properly. There is nothing, if it is within my means, that I would not give for Mine, but I pull away in shame when a hand reaches to lift me from my trench, because I refuse to believe I could ever be worthy of such care.

A mind, sharp, witty, focused, buried within a husk of desolation and self-pity. My mind, heart, soul, are filled with dreams, goals, hopes. And yet, in a instant, my mind, my heart, shatter those moments of glory into shards of never will be, and drag everything into the shadows, to see only loathing and tears.

I believe always in those I call Mine, the truest and deepest parts of them that not even they themselves can see, their true strength, their true worth, and will fight with my last breath to help them see, see that which I refuse to know of myself.

I am the truest of contradictions, the most pious of hypocrites.

I am the most outspoken showman, and yet, you will rarely hear me even speak.

I will hold you upon a pillar, as I cast myself into the mud.

I angrily chastise you for looking down on yourself, as I carve those same words into my own spirit.

The absurd, bound to the tragic, joined with the wonderful.

The greatest of mankind, and vilest example of a person.

That, is I."

... And I'm Kenny. :-)

- Kenny G.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Final Beard-Down...

Well... this is it.

..... The last Hockey game of the season... for Realz!! Everything... comes down to tonight.......

......... I'll miss it... but damnit... I want a freaking Parade next week...

.............................. So here we are... One last push for Beard-A-Thon Pledges:

( )

.......................................... One Last Bearded-Freak Picture:

.............................................. And one last "LET'S GO RED WINGS!!!!!!!!

... That is all. :-)

- Kenny G.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

My Faith: Never Broken (Though terribly sprained, and allergic to Penguins)

Ok... I must admit... I haven't been this nervous during these playoffs since... well... the Duck's...

Needless to say, the last time I was nervous... I took a new picture... blogged it... and had faith...

... And we're still here baby!!!

This may be the last post before no more beardage... so let's try for one more push... Go Wings!!!

- Kenny G.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

This made me laugh...

... though I'm not sure if that's healthy:

But, it was a humorous escape from the tedium and melodrama at work... and we all know how I love my escapes from reality:

Hey... not funny....
As a side note... my Beard-A-Thon total to date is now $200.69 (click the link on the top right of the page to see my page... and donate damnit!! It's for charity!!!!)
Time to go back to work for a little while, before I can leave a go drink beer... I mean... "Escape". :-)
- Kenny G.