That's It!! I'm on the patch now!

I just took a smoke break, and got attacked by a 747!!

OK, maybe it was a dragonfly. I'm not sure. The thing is the biggest bug I've seen in many moons. It had to have a 3 inch wingspan, and kept flying around my head like it just polished off a half gallon of Skyy by itself. It was freaky to say the least...

Wait.. I just figured it out.....

Wow.... Homeland Security is really running out of budget for surveillance.....

- Kenny G.

Quiet Friday mornings, and my insatiable desire to chase groundhogs...

It's a nice morning today. The sun is out, the birds are pooping on my truck, and I am at peace. It's quiet in the office, other than this stupid "phone", so I don't have much to do. My morning pile-o-crap is completed, and my thumb is now securely.. well... you get the point..

My coffee is hot, and it's intoxicating aroma is leaving me with one thought: I want to catch the groundhog that's tearing up the landscaping in front of the office. I want to go out there, run it out of it's hole, chase it around, and watch it run into the cage we have sitting out by one of it's exit holes...... I know, I'm strange. Gimme a break, I've got a little bit of a hangover cloud above my head....

In other world news, Steve O. has a four day weekend to go watch the NASCAR race at MIS this weekend.... Lucky f#cker. that leaves me with today, as well as (oh joy) Monday, short handed. So, of course, this means the phone will be ringing all day with major issues for our best customers, and my myth of a boss will be even more unavailable for service calls. Yippee.

But, at least there's this:

http://www.elizaskinner.net/2008/08/13/hot-date-wear/

Is it any wonder why she's my favorite??

- Kenny G.

I wish this could wait.....

..... but, for the sake of all of us who eat at Burger King...

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1418565565?bctid=1726708550

I'm on a Chef Boyardee diet from now on.....

*generic wretching sound*

- Kenny G

Ok... Green had to go... seriously....

Green text no more.... Too hard on the eyes...... simple gray will do. Other color changes are just my ADD kicking in.

(You are welcome Steve O.)

:-)

- Kenny G.

The eternal wisdom of the Wendy's marketing team.

In an advertisement for the new "Baconator" burger, the briliant writers for the Wendy's corporation crafted the next buzz word in our modern lives:

Meatetarian: One who's diet consists solely of meats; IE: Beef, bacon.

It's truly the newest, and perhaps, greatest concept of our current times. Finally, those who subsist, as I do, on a carnivorous lifestyle, have a term to unify us. We are no longer many, walking about in life, alone, and shunned....

Meat Eaters, Unite! We are Meatetarians!!!

..... Either that... or I just really want a burger.....mmmmm...... burger......

- Kenny G.

And now, I feel dirty, broken, and ashamed... After I laughed my ass off....

Alright, fine. You win, Internet. I surrender....

I broke down and finally watched the "Paris Hilton Presidential Ad" on Funny Or Die....

(For my fellow hold-outs, it's here: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d . There's no use fighting it, you'll end up seeing it some day. Save your strength, and give in. )

Now, I could spend this post questioning the taste of so many who have commented on "how hot Paris is"... after I spend the required hours lurching up my lunch. Or, I could rant on, as so many have before me, about how "she's only famous for being famous", but the horse has been beaten into paste on that one. There's no point....

No, I'll just comment on this one observation: How the hell did she read that teleprompter so damn well????

Look, I saw "House of Wax" (because I love cheesy horror, OK!!! Deal with it!), and, I know first hand that this woman cannot act. Period. She couldn't even play dead convincingly... Nuff said...

But, in this small piece of political satire, she read the dialog so well, I almost forgot how vacant her head is. I was stunned at how informed and eloquent she sounded, and that's a shame I can't shower off...

Not to mention the fact that the "proposed plan" is brilliant in it's own right.... even coming out of Paris Hilton's mouth!!!!

Point is, I truly enjoyed this piece... even though I wish I hadn't.

........ See you in therapy bitches!!!

- Kenny G.