Friday, August 29, 2008

HFSIF!! ( Holy F*cking Sh*t, It's Friday...)

So... you remember that old song, "Manic Monday"??

Crock of horse defecation that one is... Monday isn't the issue here people.... It's Friday.

On Monday, you're all rested from the weekend you've (hopefully) had off. You've got all those fresh memories of all the partying, or sitting around doing nothing, that you just spent every minute since you left work on Friday doing. Sure, you may (will) have a hangover, but no pain, no play, right?

No, Friday is the shit-tastic day of the week.... You've just spent the whole week working your soul away, dealing with every inane inconsistency your boss could muster, every asshole customer, and every possible instance of "Murphy's law" ever seen by mortal eyes. You've tried to catch as many "Happy Hours" as you could, hoping that a few cocktails would soothe your aching brain, but that is hard to do when, long before the stress is gone, you take the "I gotta work tomorrow" early train out of your favorite bar.

So, Friday comes, and you rush out from work, intent on making up all the steam-blowing-off you're behind on from the week, barely putting the car in park before your ass hits the bar stool, slamming fuzzy navels at Mach 3, until, before the night's ball game even begins, you're wasted...

Now, in an attempt to overpower your failing liver, you stay, even though your blood could fuel the next space shuttle launch, and your wallet is weeping from it's sudden hemorrhaging, and you end up so incoherently fucked up, you now have to waste Saturday recovering, rather than engaged in a keg stand with the frat boys that live four doors down from you....

Shitty.... Or in other words....

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYBODY!!!
- Kenny G.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Coming soon to a theater near you: Interviews With An Office Monkey

So... Um, WTF?

I'm not the "Tech Guy" around here.... I'm not even remotely "Techy"... I'm the Office Manager(read: Bitch)... So, why in the name of Thor's taint am I the one interviewing replacements for Steve O.??

Not that I mind... It's an honor to be trusted with such a big task... and even better to be getting the extra hours for being in the office for this... Still, it's a little over my head now isn't it??

I'm pretty much asking questions that I don't frickin' know the real answers for... As well as trying to get a half-assed feel for how these applicants are in customer service... This is not a situation where I like flying by the seat of my pants...

... Hold on... I just got a memo from my manhood... what's it say....

" MAN UP AND FUCKIN' DO THIS..... YOU PUSSY BOY!!!"

............ Dammit.....

- Kenny G.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Random Cut-And-Paste content to make me look like an avid poster...

This made me laugh my ass off.......

See more funny videos at Funny or Die



....... Even though Jimmy Kimmel makes my skin crawl...

- Kenny G.

Is it Coincidence, or is it Memorex?

Is it odd to anyone else that, on the same day as the post below this one---

Word of the Day Archive: Monday August 25, 2008:

berate \bih-RAYT\, transitive verb: To scold severely or angrily.

Odin really does have a sense of humor... and irony...

- Kenny G.

Internet Bandwidth: Now available in small, medium, and "I'm a self righteous little overdeveloped cum-shot"....

OK... here's reason #185729 why I've lost all faith in Humanity, and eagerly await a new global "We're all fucked" plague....

So, I'm sitting at work, checking my usual haunts, and find this article:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16584_real-world-fears-behind-8-popular-movie-monsters.html

I know, it's not a perfect fit for everybody, but I say it's good. It's funny, light hearted in many ways, but offers a few nuggets of insight, or at least topics to ponder......

Then, as a response post... I read this ass-clown's words (He's toward the bottom of the list...):

"blahdeblahblah"
"and -- if you are a man -- things relating to vaginas." Yet another dumb bitch bashing men because she can get away with it. Fuck you and your misandry. The only reason you were allowed to post this boring tripe of an article is because you have tits. Accept that you and your ilk will never be anything more than fucktoys. Eat shit, inferior gendered slut."
"Posted on 8/24/2008 10:20:31 PM"

Are you fucking serious?? They still make ignorant, misogynistic gutter trash like this??? Come the fuck on. She made a damn joke.... and a joke I kinda (sadly) admit has a bit of truth to it about those of us with a Y chromosome... And now, thanks to blahdeblahblah... We have a poster child for the "Woman-hating Dickbag" club....

I give the fuck up..... My gender just needs to start castrating ourselves, in a effort to stop the spread of this level of stupidity....

........ Or, I just need a beer to calm down with... whichever....

- Kenny G.