It's official... I can't run and hide any more. My mistakes are mine, and I have to live with them. There's no one else that can fix me; It's shit of get off the pot.
I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes. There's no stopping that. I can do as much as possible to prevent some of them, but they will happen, and I must live with the consequences.
If I spend more than I can afford to, dig myself into a whole, finding myself broke, on the verge of bankruptcy, then that is my cross to bear. I can't pray for a reprieve my my creditors, nor another loan to just "get by". Nor can I sit idle, waiting for a miracle from above to save my scrawny ass. Fix it myself, or quit bitching. Those are my only choices.
If I hurt those I care about the most, then the backlash from my actions is my punishment. If I had thought long enough before I took action, there would have been no pain. If I had done everything I could to show those I love what they truly mean to me, then there would be no question that my actions were never meant to be malicious, and were just a stupid mistake. But when my actions cost me that which I hold so dear, then there is no one to blame but me, and I must accept the blame, grow, and walk on. Hiding in the shadows, hoping for magic pixies to fix it for me, will only leave me weak and empty.
I can't hide any more. I can't sit on my ass and pray for a better wave to ride in life. I'm slowly killing myself with apathy, and there's no time for that in a good life.
Time to pick my ass up, and do my best. Always. There's no excuse for anything less.
Time to get busy walking, or get busy dying.
- Kenny G
11 months ago