Wednesday, October 22, 2008

.... The kinda place that makes you want to wash the soap...

So, yesterday, after work... I went to my normal hiding place: Bucks.

I sat with friends, shot the shit, drank a couple beers, and was getting ready to leave when one of our bartenders (who happened to be off duty at the time) asked if I wanted to go with her, Postal Dave, and the bar schizo, and watch her shoot pool.

I wasn't really in the mood to head to the bar she was supposed to shoot at, but hey, free beer is free beer. So I went..... To the Warrendale bar....

It's the kind of place that is a few blocks past the line that most sane, law abiding folks don't cross, unless they're just passing through to get somewhere better. The kind of place where you know most of the business transacted there has nothing to do with the bartender or booze. The kind of place where you visit the restroom, and think to yourself "I hope this water gets hot enough to wash the soap before I use it..."

That kinda place...

I wish I could tell you that my little nerdy suburban ass has never been to a bar like that... I wish I could... but I'd be lying... and that isn't the real me...


(Though, this is the character from my little video... cute, ain't he?)
No, that class of bar is somewhat familiar to me. Hell, that particular bar wasn't new for me.... It was a remnant of the days when "She" was in my life, and I was spending way too much time/money/dignity on her "Weed" habit...
I wish I could say a fight broke out, I smacked the Jukebox and Bodies came on. I wish I could tell you I went all Matrix bad ass on a bunch of thugs... I wish I could, but I'd be lying....
Nothing happened... at all...
Though, our pool shooting bartender friend girl type person did freak out a bit... You see, she's a sheltered little lamb... and when she accidentally brushed a girl's coat catching the pack of smokes that had been tossed to her, she got a dirty look, and swore she was about to get her ass kicked.... It was really funny to watch her squirm...
I know... I'm terrible....
Needless to say, after she found out she wasn't shooting pool this time, and after the rest of us became tired of watching "Closed Circuit Security Camera T.V.'s" hit show "The Parking Lot"... we left. No fan fare. No fights, no muggings. Just a drive back to Bucks.
I know... Anti-Climactic again.... just like my sex life... Sorry.
- Kenny G.

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