Peeling, Coughing, Pondering, all while screaming "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!!", and pissing your pants.

Please pardon my cynical rantings this time around... I'm sick.

Yes, it's official: I've got a cold.

I think it all started this past weekend. You see, my buddy Steve O. and I headed up north to help his Dad build a house for Grandma... from scratch...

Yes, me + power tools.... are they all fucking crazy?????

It was a long weekend, full of lumber, nails, and 196.34 degree temperatures.... I sweat more than a catholic priest watching "Kid Nation."

But, that's not the worst part. You see, I'm pasty... pasty white. So white, i'm luminescent. And it was sunny out.... So now, i'm burgundy (at least on my arms, face, and neck).... And, I'm peeling.

Peeling... me.... I don't peel, I'm supposed to burn, then tan.... not look like a reject from the leper colony!!!

But wait! There's more!! It also stormed rhino balls out where we were... big, nasty, "make your cat jump in your lap with it's claws out" type of storms.

I don't know if any of you have ever tried to hold an unsecured exterior wall of what may someday become a house in 70 MPH winds while some other guys try to secure it down with rusting nails and 2X4's, but it makes you realize the things you never want to do in life: parasailing, hang-gliding, you know, those types of botched suicide attempts....

Now, sitting at the office, reflecting on almost trading in my life to become "storm debris", Steve found a nice little story online: That little storm we were in, it produced a tornado just a few miles down the road from where we were getting soaked and hammered. I really DID almost die. Fun times Skippy!!!

Worst of all, I think, after being out in all that suprizingly frigid rain, and now-confimed tornado grade wind, I caught a fucking cold!!!!

Murphy, fuck you, and the laws you rode in on.

So now, I have little to do but reflect on all that transpired on this little trip. I got sunburned, sick, and nearly blown half way to bloody OZ, because I wanted to be a good friend and offer to help out with a big project. Nice.

Wait.... there was beer... free beer.... and a good night of short-track racing....


Think I'll go be going back this weekend. :-)

- Kenny G.