(This Blog best read to Daughtry's "It's Not Over")

I don't want this to be it...

I need more time in the Beard-A-Thon... Need to raise more money...

( https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/sabre419/profile.aspx )

I need to see the Wings win Tonight!!

So... It's time to be stoic:

Be Devoted:

And Go Duck Hunting!!

GO WINGS!!!!

- Kenny G.

Fur-Balling: My new hobby

Well.... Is it a beard now????



... Disin't think so.... :-)

- Kenny G.

Beard-A-Thon Update

Here's my latest pic, posted here first (as if anyone actually reads this tripe) :-)





Scruff-tastic!

(Dear God, I'm getting excited over a beard... How sad.)

- Kenny G.

This may be one of the silliest things I've ever done...

... but I signed up for the Detroit Red Wings Beard-A-Thon...

https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/sabre419/profile.aspx

I don't know if I'll raise even a dollar, but it's worth a shot, right?

Here's the Starting Pic.

Wish Me Luck.

- Kenny G.

... And then there was the following day.

Simple Math:

Plus:

Will Lead Inadvertantly to:



Any Questions? :-)

- Kenny G.

Celebrating with a silent prayer and quiet reflection...

Yeah, Right!!!

I know I've said this many times before... but St. Patrick's Day is, indeed, my Holiest of Holies...

It is my day to justify the same crap I do 364 other days a year, but this time, wearing green. :-)

Aside from that, Buck's has the best damned corned beef I've ever eaten, so at least there will be something to saok up all the green food coloring I'll ingest tonight.

I don't know what it is, but I just truly feel at peace on this grand occassion.... I can finally, for once, get into the festive and partying mood that all those around me enjoy... and I like it...

So, to all of you, my dear and wonderous friends and family, a simple toast:

"To Honor-

Honor, Inner,

If you can't Come Inner,

Come Honor!"

(Say it out loud if you don't get it....)

Crude, yes... but funny too. :-)

Happy High Holy Holiday All!

- Kenny G.

Monday Morning Depress-Fest, Courtesy of a Friend..

My friend Dave posted this...

...... Mushy bastard. Now I need a beer... :-)

Why Guys Like Girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she’s the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says “lets not fight anymore” even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say “I love you’
18. Actually … just the way they kiss you…
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don’t admit it)!
23. The way they say “I miss you”
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore…..

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them … it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Originally posted here

-Kenny G.

Hi. I'm Ken, and I'm a Crack(berry) Addict.

So... Just to clarify... I'm not rich.... I'm not even close to rich... Hell, I'm lucky I can even spell "rich"...

My family isn't rich either... but my mother sure seems to think so...

See, she has a problem. She gets herself a new cell phone at least every year... if not sooner..... No... not as part of some "New all the damned time" contract plan... she ebays herself every new phone she has a hankering for....

About two years ago... she got herself a Palm Trio... It worked great, for a second... then it made her mad... so she got a newer and better trio... and pawned the old one off on me...

The problem was... When she got the first Trio... I got the old Razr she had... and I loved that phone.... Until the cat knocked a cup of water on it, and it gave up the will to display....

See, I'm pretty simple (I'll just leave the joke at that... you all run with it...:-) ...) ... all I want my phone to do is make/recieve calls, text message, have a usable alarm clock... and maybe take pictures, although that's not a need... it's a toy feature... That's why I loved the Razr... it was so easy, even a Kenny could work it...

The Trio just made me feel stupid(er)... like I need to be a sniper with a stylus, and have a frickin masters from MIT, just to set my morning wake up call.... so I dumped the Trio after about a month... and went back to a good old fashioned green-screen display I had in a drawer at home...

Then... last Summer... Mom got a Blackberry Curve, and tried to pawn the new Trio off on me... And I said no... I'd had a bad taste in my mouth from the last one, and the new Razr I got for X-mas was just so much better (even though it liked to randomly turn off, thanks to, guess what... charging in water... Noticing a pattern here??)

Now we get to last month... when Mom felt the need to get a new G1 (or whatever the hell it's called....).... and she offered me the Crack... I mean.., "Blackberry".....

Me + Smart Phones = Funny shit... No... seriously... it took me 5 minutes to figure out it wasn't a touch screen.... (Ok... maybe just one minute... but still.....)

But now... I have the thing pretty down pat... and I'm scared.....

Seriously... do we really need to be giving Kenny more ways to access Porn... I mean, log on to FOD... no... I mean look up Porn....

Seriously.... I was already here....



Did we need to upgrade to this???






So... yeah.... I now have this thing set up for all 6... yes... 6... email addresses I have.... Not my work one though... I get over 100+ emails on that one a day... way too much beeping.....

But... Yeah.... I'm a Crackberry Head now.... God help us all...

- Kenny G.

Return Of The Not Suckage!!!

No... not "Nut Suckage" you perverts... I have no sex life. :-)

Nope... I'm talking two of my favoite-est things in forevers and stuff:

1) NASCAR!!!

Daytona 500 bitches!!! Yes, I know... it sucked that it got rained out, but still, it was a good race (except that JR. had to wreck the damned field and take out two of my Fantasy Nascar Drivers out of the race... Why you gotta let me down like that Dawg??)

It's been a while, but finally... my excessive drinking on the Sabbath can be justified.

2) Half Past Beer 30!!!!

The drunken boobs (Steve O. and Myself) are firing up the old Ibook, and beginning the Podcast anew, with our new buddy Karaoke Steve (Nickname not yet certain) joining our drunken banter-fest!

Check out old episodes on Itunes... just search for "Half Past Beer 30"...

You know... that Podcast is te reason I started this blog all those years ago... No... seriously... check my old posts from 2005... I ain't kidding...

.... Now, I have my 24.... my Red Wings... my NASCAR... and soon... our Podcast....

.......... Maybe life doesn't suck absolute ass. :-)

( "Absolute Ass" is in no way affiliated with "Absolut Vodka"... Dammit!! )

- Kenny G.

The Day when Love, like Smog, fills the air...

Ah, Valentines Day...

A time for Love.... and Romance...

A time to tell that "Special Someone"... just how you truly feel...

A time, to love... and to be loved...


I guess... It's best summed up in this little poem I got in an email many, many years ago...

"Fuck Valentines Day"

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...

What the hell is all that shit for?

People get mushy and start acting queer

It is definatley the most annoying day of the year

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass

Before i shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass

I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak

And wear all black for the rest of the week

People act all sweet, but it soon will fade

For all they are doing is trying to get laid

The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit

Because I think love is a crock of shit

So heres my story...what else can I say?

Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So.. Who's got some shot recipes for me to try Friday night??? If it gets me to pass out by 11:59 PM Friday, and not wake back up till 12:00 AM Sunday morning... I'll send you a cookie. :-)

- Kenny G.