My Final Post.

There's something deeply and fundamentally fucked up with me.

I think I'm making a joke, I end up hurting the people I care about.

I use one word in a reference that truly has little to do with what I'm talking about, and it ends up tearing an entire friendship apart in seconds.

I can't speak without making others mad and upset. No matter how hard I try, I can't get it right.

If I can't speak without doing harm, there's no point in ever speaking. So it's time for me to stop speaking, for good. It's what's best.

I'm done.

- Kenny G.

Ya hoooo....oly sh*t... what the hell is wrong here????

All I can say is.... WHAT THE FUCK YAHOO!?!?!?!

Kiss my white ass... you pricks.... (if you can't read the pic... download.... or email me....)

- Kenny G.

The dawning of a new stretch of 24 hour periods.

So... It's official... Barrack Obama will be the next President of the United States of America. It was a hard fought race, but in the end, it was a sound victory for the Illinois senator.

Hurrah.

That's it. That's all I've got. No resounding cheers of jubilation, no insane dances of glee. I'm not exactly filled with all the warm and fuzzies that many others, including many of my friends, seem to have a boundless supply of. But I am trying to share in their Hope.

Nor am I filled with disgust, outrage, or fear. I wasn't out there, rallying for John McCain, doing my best to spread a mistrust about Barrack Obama. I have no true emotion over his race, as I have no inborn qualm with any ones race. I have no deep seated hatred, or dread. Though I do share some wary feeling for our future.

No, over all, I just don't care one way or the other in the wake of this election. This country has fallen so far over so many years, it's hard for me to give any vague semblance of a rat's ass anymore. We've been quite viciously fucked from so many angles for so long, apathy is all I have left to share.

I will say this:

"Dear President Elect Obama,

Please, Just Don't Fuck Things Up Any Worse.

Sincerely,

Kenny G."

That's all I pray for any more.

Now, I'm going back to my reading.... Go away!!!

- Kenny G.

Reports of my death are, sadly, quite exagerated.

I done didn't die and stuff...

I've just had a lot on my plate, and too little time/will/energy/inspiration to make new and excit-ulating posts.

It's not that I don't love posting here, it's just not a creative high point for me right now....

I know, I know... excuses excuses...

I do make to occasional posts on my funny or die page... I know... I'm a post slut...

What can I say... even the things I enjoy most are suffering now-a-days... I don't know... quit asking...

By the way, here's a completely unrelated funny picture:

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! DUCK FARTS!! VOTE YODA 08!!

Send help soon...

- Kenny G.

Never underestimate the power of Coffee.

(That's strange... why was this just a draft... and not a post..??)

It's morning. I'm awake. Don't know quite why.



My head hurts, but then again... when doesn't it?



Now, my ass hurting, that would be strange.



But my ass is fine, and the coffee is hot.



Ahhh... coffee.....



The reason for my AM survival.



I owe you more than you will ever know....



Sweet roasted beans, ground, and moistened....



The pungent liquid you leave behind as the water runs through you.....



I love you, oh sweet nectar of the God's....



My heart shall forever be yo... WTF??? My mug's empty!!!



DAMN&T!!! SH*T, F#CK, MOTHER G*D F%CKING DAMN&T!!!



I gotta go refill................................................................................................ I'm back....



*SIP*



Oh, heavenly nectar of life.......



I love coffee.....



- Kenny G.

Truly inspirational....

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

That's from my buddy Mike at funny or die... It's something we all need to remember now and again...

- Kenny G.

HAHAHAHAHA HELLS YA!!!!!!!!

I freaking did it you guys!!!! I won an FOD cap contest....

I didn't even think it was my best one, but fuck it, I won one!!!

http://www.funnyordie.com/captions/995955?sort=rating

My winning cap:



"What's my name?! What's my name?! Now teach me how to spell it!"
.
Yay for me!
.
- Kenny G.

Friday Movie Night!!!

Just a few great clips I found this week... enjoy!!!


Massive Shopping Cart Fail by Two Morons - Watch more free videos

( I laughed till I sharted...)


Next up....

http://publicaddress.typepad.com/hello/files/sexylincoln.mov

(I swear, anything this woman does just cracks me up..)


And Finally...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

(That's my buddy Grizz at Funny or Die... Good Video...)

Have an awesome weekend, my minions, I mean friends, I mean pity bearers... yeah... pity bearers....

- Kenny G.

.... The kinda place that makes you want to wash the soap...

So, yesterday, after work... I went to my normal hiding place: Bucks.

I sat with friends, shot the shit, drank a couple beers, and was getting ready to leave when one of our bartenders (who happened to be off duty at the time) asked if I wanted to go with her, Postal Dave, and the bar schizo, and watch her shoot pool.

I wasn't really in the mood to head to the bar she was supposed to shoot at, but hey, free beer is free beer. So I went..... To the Warrendale bar....

It's the kind of place that is a few blocks past the line that most sane, law abiding folks don't cross, unless they're just passing through to get somewhere better. The kind of place where you know most of the business transacted there has nothing to do with the bartender or booze. The kind of place where you visit the restroom, and think to yourself "I hope this water gets hot enough to wash the soap before I use it..."

That kinda place...

I wish I could tell you that my little nerdy suburban ass has never been to a bar like that... I wish I could... but I'd be lying... and that isn't the real me...

(Though, this is the character from my little video... cute, ain't he?)

No, that class of bar is somewhat familiar to me. Hell, that particular bar wasn't new for me.... It was a remnant of the days when "She" was in my life, and I was spending way too much time/money/dignity on her "Weed" habit...

I wish I could say a fight broke out, I smacked the Jukebox and Bodies came on. I wish I could tell you I went all Matrix bad ass on a bunch of thugs... I wish I could, but I'd be lying....

Nothing happened... at all...

Though, our pool shooting bartender friend girl type person did freak out a bit... You see, she's a sheltered little lamb... and when she accidentally brushed a girl's coat catching the pack of smokes that had been tossed to her, she got a dirty look, and swore she was about to get her ass kicked.... It was really funny to watch her squirm...

I know... I'm terrible....

Needless to say, after she found out she wasn't shooting pool this time, and after the rest of us became tired of watching "Closed Circuit Security Camera T.V.'s" hit show "The Parking Lot"... we left. No fan fare. No fights, no muggings. Just a drive back to Bucks.

I know... Anti-Climactic again.... just like my sex life... Sorry.

- Kenny G.

MY BOSS IS GOING TO MAKE ME GO BACK TO CRACK!!!

How the F*CK do you run a business with the attention span and short term memory of a ADD ridden goldfish!!!!

Once again, we have a late payment notice on something.... and He has no idea why...

Lemme tell y'all what I see as the problem:

A) It is my job to put these things on the books.

B) I work at the office, and solely at the office.

C) All this hippy-dippy-flippin horse shit GETS MAILED TO HIS FREAKING HOUSE!!!!

*Inhale*...... *Exhale*....

Better now... sort of.....

If you want to make sure I get all these bills booked and payed on time... doesn't it make sense to ensure I actually see the little bastards...

Argh.... where's my pipe?!?!?

- Kenny G.